


Hate Me

by sorrybxtch



Series: vent fics [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, I don't know how to tag this, I'm sorry for this, Kinda, M/M, Non-Incestuous Shinguji Korekiyo, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, all characters are someone i know, i guess, i just had to get this out but i can't talk to anyone, i promise my writing is usually better, im venting through kiyo though, its not a big part of the story, kiyo is ooc, kiyouma is only really mentioned, no incest for the kiyo and sister part, please don't read if any of this is triggering to you, probably confusing, this probably just sounds stupid, thoughts of self harm, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:29:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrybxtch/pseuds/sorrybxtch
Summary: Korekiyo Shinguuji hates himself.Korekiyo Shinguuji thinks everyone else should hate him, too.No, he wants them to.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro & Shinguji Korekiyo, Oma Kokichi & Shinguji Korekiyo, Oma Kokichi/Shinguji Korekiyo, Shinguji Korekiyo & Shinguji Korekiyo's Sister, Tsumiki Mikan & Shinguji Korekiyo
Series: vent fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821016
Kudos: 42





	Hate Me

**Author's Note:**

> read the tags before reading please.
> 
> vent fic in which i vent through kiyo because hes my biggest comfort character and kin.
> 
> all of the characters represent someone i know both online and in real life 
> 
> all of this is probably just going to sound over dramatic but these are genuinely my thoughts, i'm really sorry.

How easy it is. 

He is already good at it. 

He knows he is already good at it. 

How easy it is to make them hate him. 

Shinguuji thinks that to himself, one day. It was unintentional -- a long time ago, he had wanted to be more likeable. There was a list of things that people disliked -- once, when he was upset, he tried to do those things, yet otherwise, he tried to avoid them. 

He finds the list by accident, having been looking for something to read to comfort him. 

His mindset was spiraling. 

How easy. He looks over the list again and again. He does some of these already. The rest will not be hard to do, he thinks. 

He gets a notification. Tsumiki. He opens it and reads it. 

He's already failed something on the list. Hiding his emotions. He told her he was upset earlier. 

It's too late to turn back. 

So he tells her what he wants to happen to him. 

He thinks about it more. Ignores her text. He's becoming drained. He can't think right. No, his mind is spiraling. 

He knows what he hopes for. 

But he must be patient. 

He needs to act like this towards everyone. Start ignoring his friends. “Friends.” They'll hate him soon enough. 

Amami texts him this time.

Don't show your emotions.

Amami Rantarou. He wonders if Amami still likes him. Something he felt guilty for. Not returning his feelings. He probably doesn't. Not anymore. 

He fails again. He tells Amami. He asks why. Why Shinguuji wants to go through with this. He says he doesn't know. He can't tell him what he wants. Amami doesn't respond again. 

Amami must hate him now.

He reads what Tsumiki says. That it'll get better. No it won't, he thinks. He says so to others all the time.

Hypocrite. Can't even listen to his own words that he tells them.

Another reason to despise himself.

He gets a text from his boyfriend. 

He doesn't look at it. 

Not yet, at least. 

He figures he should start on a smaller scale. He can't ignore Ouma. 

So he reads the text. 

“Heeeey, baby!” It's been an hour since he and Ouma talked -- Shinguuji thinks one of the things he’d said before must have upset him. Thinks he sounded to angry. Thinks maybe he's the one his boyfriend is scared of. Reads up on abusive behaviours. Gets scared, thinks he must be an abuser -- but Ouma acts just as cheerful as ever.

Hide your emotions. 

“Hello” is all he texts back. He usually says more. But not today. 

He wonders if Ouma knows something is wrong. 

Ouma doesn't seem to realize. Maybe he does. Maybe he just doesn't care anymore. Shinguuji can't blame him. He wouldn't care if he was Ouma, he thinks. 

He thinks he's already doing it. He figures Ouma will probably break up with him and cease talking to him soon. 

The thought makes him sad. 

But he forces himself to continue like this, forces himself to bite down his emotions so that he can't second guess himself. 

He looks towards the door of his room He wonders, idly, if Sister would notice. Notice if he took a razor or if he took a knife. Notice if he used them on himself. Notice if he dug them deep into his skin.

No. 

Too risky, he thinks.

She forces him to wear more revealing clothing around her now. He can't bear the thought of someone seeing scars. Especially not her.

So he doesn't. Maybe he will, some day.

Shinguuji can't wait, he thinks. 

He can't wait for the day when they all finally hate him. When they no longer want to talk to him. 

Sister told him that day would come eventually. She will be the only thing he has. She tells him that often. But he wants to speed up the process of them leaving. 

He knows what he will do when that day arrives. 

When the day comes where the love of his life no longer wants to even see his name, where he is back to being alone, where the only one he has will be Sister...no. He can do it before then. Soon. He can do it soon. 

Ouma lives in a different district than he does. He's certain he wouldn't hear what happened to him. After all, news of things happening in his district never seemed to the things the smaller boy heard. His boyfriend would check up on him the first day, then the second day, maybe a few days after. He might even worry for a bit. But he would be fine. He would forget Shinguuji soon enough. Forget that he cared. Forget his existence altogether. So it would be okay. 

Nobody else would care anymore. He knows it. Ouma is the only one with a possibility of caring or worrying about him now. Once he gave up and stopped caring, that would be it.

Soon, he thought. He had to wait for the next storm. The next power outage. He could leave the house without the alarm -- Sister wouldn't hear a thing. He could turn off the locations on his phone -- Sister wouldn't be able to find him. He could walk, walk randomly, using his phone flashlight as a guide until it lost its battery -- then he could discard it and keep going, anything to stop Sister or anyone else from finding him. Keep walking. Somewhere along the line, he would stop. 

He would lay down. 

And he would wait. 

If someone came and offered him shelter or food or asked to take him to his home, he would refuse and tell them he was okay, that he was just resting on the ground for a bit. 

If someone came with the intention to hurt him...he would let them. He wouldn't put up a fight. 

Three days, he thought. He would force himself not to drink anything no matter how hard it was. After all, the human body can't last very long without water, can it?

Within three days, he would be gone. 

Laying there. 

Dead.

Forgotten. 

Despised. 

Just how he wanted it to be.

**Author's Note:**

> also we don't live in japan so idk if different districts would find out the news from other districts or not but i tried to make it at least accurate location wise
> 
> i'll post non - vent fics too but i'll have a series for vent fics specifically


End file.
